


Diggin' Up Bones

by YaoiProfessorYuki



Series: My Heart Gently Weeps [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Heartbreak, Leaving, M/M, Memories, Randy Travis Song, Sad Harry, Sane Voldemort, Songfic, regretful Voldemort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 06:29:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14074938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YaoiProfessorYuki/pseuds/YaoiProfessorYuki
Summary: Songfic. Tom sits around and mourns the loss of the one he never knew he was in love with.





	Diggin' Up Bones

Voldemort sat in his recliner, in the living room of Riddle Manor. He did this quite often, going over the day in his mind, relaxing with his regular glass of whiskey, and someone in the recliner next to his silently reading. Although tonight the one next to him was empty and had a thin layer of dust, the past owner of it having been gone for a little over a year and a half now. The roaring flames coming from the fire place cast light throughout the room, their dancing reminding him of a once spirited and lively individual. The amber colored brandy in his hand becoming more intense in color. On the side table next to his recliner was a medium sized box full of different things. All of them belonging to someone other than him, the same someone who had once sat in the other recliner, someone who had loved him that he loved back, but until recently didn’t want to admit it. 

Reaching in the box he began to pull out different items. Different items with different memories attached to them. 

_Last night I dug your picture out from our old dresser drawer_  
_I set it on the table and I talked to it 'til four_  
_I read some old love letters right up 'til the break of dawn_  
_Yeah I've been sittin' alone diggin' up bones_

The first thing he pulled out was a pile of letters they had exchanged during his last year at Hogwarts. He didn’t why but they seemed more important now than they ever did in the past. Funny how something so mundane as simple letters can have that effect on him.

**Dear Tom,**

****

**Hogwarts is the same as always. Wish you were here though, it seems oddly quiet without you here. Hopefully this year will go by quickly and we’ll see each other again soon. It’ll be lonely having a bed to myself again. Hopefully Ron and Hermoine will keep my mind to occupied to mourn the loss of your arms holding me. Well at least we have Christmas break to look forward to. I’m not sure what I’m going to tell everyone about me leaving for the holidays, when I’m usually here. Oh, well I’ll think of something.**

****

**Oh there was an explosion, the twins are probably getting into trouble again. I’m sorry to make this so short.**

****

**All my love,  
HJP**

This was the letter he got right after he had dropped Harry off at the platform. Looking at the letter, it made him laugh because not even a full day had passed before he received it. Although at the time he recalled himself finding it more annoying because it arrived during a meeting and didn’t contain any useful information. 

The next letter was one he himself had sent, a few weeks into the school year.

**Harry,**

**It’s good to know that you and your grades are doing fine. Make sure to eat all of your meals, its unhealthy being that skinny. I have a meeting to get to. Send me an update soon.**

**Tom**

Now that he read it again, he realized how neutral and absent of feelings the letter suddenly held. Going through the rest of them he saw that just about all of them were like that as well. Was he really so busy at the time that he couldn’t bother to write a proper reply? Oh wait he couldn’t write one like he had meant to, well now it seems more like too bothered to. Being the leader of one side in a war made it to where he never had time for anything, much less writing a letter. Taking a drink from his glass, he continued on trying to drown the memories as they came in a steady stream. 

The last letter he read was from Harry with and immediate reply written back, on the other side of the parchment. 

**Dear Tom,**

**I’m so excited that this year is ending and I will finally be able to see you again. I hope that upon my return you’ll have enough time to sit and dine with me, I don’t want to push though. I know how busy you can be. I just wanted us to sit down and have a meal with each other, before you had to run off again.**

**All my love,**  
Harry 

**Harry,**

**I’m sorry but I’m unable to attend dinner tonight. I will however be meeting you at the platform to pick you up and take you home. If you will inform Mixy about this it would be greatly appreciated.**

**Tom**

He remembered that day. The inner circle was meeting to give their reports. When he had gone to pick Harry up, the first thing that happened was Harry throwing his arms around him. Tom was able to get Harry to let go and then start rushing off to the meeting, he remembered he hadn’t even kissed Harry in greeting much less in good bye. It was a boring affair the meeting, also one that he could have easily changed the time of so he could spend it with his little lover. But no, it had to be done in order to help with the war effort. He remembered coming back from his meeting, seeing Harry sleeping in their bed with tear streaks on his face. At the time he thought Harry was maybe having a nightmare. Gently waking him up he asked what was wrong. Harry merely smiled at him and said: 

“Nothing, it’s fine. Just got soap in my eyes earlier.” He remembers smiling fondly at his Gryffindor absent mindedness, running his hand through silky raven hair. 

No, everything wasn’t fine, it was proven by the now empty seat next to him. Going to take another drink from his glass, he found it to be empty. With a wave of his hand he summoned a bottle to him, merely taking off the top and drinking straight from the bottle. The liquid giving a pleasurable burn as it went down. Dropping the letters into the empty recliner he reached in the box again. This time it was a photo. 

A picture of him and Harry on their two year anniversary, at times he can still hardly believe they were together for so long. In the picture they were sitting on a bench in a French garden. Both of them held a glass of red wine. Harry had his head on Tom’s shoulder, no matter how much Harry grew he was never able to get passed Tom’s shoulders. Tom had a possessive arm wrapped around Harry’s waist. Both were smiling, and happy. The picture them turned to look at each other, and gave the other a loving and chaste kiss. The picture Harry’s eyes were as bright as ever. Come to think of it, that was the happiest he had ever seen Harry besides in the first few months of their relationship. The photo joined the letters. 

_Then I went through the jewelry and I found our wedding rings_  
_I put mine on my finger and I gave yours a fling_  
_across this lonely bedroom of our recent broken home_  
_Yeah tonight I'm sittin' alone diggin' up bones_

Picking up the box, he made his way through his painfully silent manor. Because he didn’t have a home, home had Harry in it smiling at him as if he were the greatest thing in the world. No this was his manor, a large house empty of life. 

He eventually made it to his bedroom, box and whiskey in hand. He shuffled silently to the bed setting the box and bottle on the nightstand, then drunkenly walked over to the dresser to change into some night clothes. Once there he realized that it wasn’t his dresser, it was Harry’s. Tom hesitated for a moment unsure whether or not he should open it and view it’s hidden contents. He already knew that whatever lay inside would bring him pain, whether empty or containing something. Coming to a decision, he reached for a random handle. Upon opening the drawer he gasped in shock seeing something he had thought Harry had taken with him, something he had hoped to avoid seeing ever again. 

There, sitting innocently on the shelf, was Harry’s old wooden “treasure” box, because men did not own jewelry boxes apparently. With hesitant hands, he reached out, picked up the small jewelry box, and opened it. That’s when the first tear he had cried in years fell, for sitting in the box , on the soft velvet lining were their rings. His was gold with an emerald embedded in it, Harry’s was silver with a ruby. 

_“Tom, come to the bedroom! I have something to show you!” cried Harry excitedly_

_Tom sighed at the sound of his lover’s joyous voice. Reading the rest of the page of the book he was reading, he hefted himself up and out of the chair. Walking down the brightly lit hall, he entered the bedroom. There was Harry sitting on his side of their bed, rocking from side to side in an effort to contain his excitement. Tom went over and knelt down in front of him._

_“What is it Harry?” he asked_

_“Look what I got for us.” He picked up a small box that was sitting next to him. Opening it, he showed Tom what was inside. There sat the rings, Tom at the time though looked at them curiously._

_“Rings?”_

_“Not just any rings, their promise rings. Muggles trade promise rings with their lover to show their love and affection.” He said, picking up the gold and emerald ring. Harry grabbed Tom’s hand and put the ring on his left ring finger. “Now you do me.”_

_Picking up the shining ring, Tom carefully put it on Harry’s finger. The small and thin ring complimented Harry’s smaller and softer hand perfectly. Taking up both of Tom’s hands in his, Harry bestowed kiss on the clasped hands. Looking up at him with all the seriousness in the world he said “Promise you won’t take this off Tom.”_

_“If I do?”_

_“It means you don’t love me anymore. So promise me that, as long as you love me you’ll always wear it. Okay?” Harry started to look unsure of himself, ducking his head in embarrassment. Tom smiled and brought Harry into a hug._

_“I promise, I won’t take it off.” He said. With that said Harry through his arms around him and said “I love you.”_

Tom picked up his ring and placed it on his finger, the emerald shining reminding him of Harry’s eyes. Picking up the other ring, he turned and furiously threw it, hitting a small vase in the corner and causing a small crack to form. But even then he was reminded of his life with Harry, the crack symbolizing the now broken home he lived in. One that after today, could never be fixed again. He let lose a scream but, even that was silent. 

_I'm diggin' up bones, I'm diggin' up bones_  
_Exhuming things that’s better left alone_  
_I'm resurrecting memories of a love that's dead and gone_  
_Yeah tonight I'm sittin' alone diggin' up bones_

There on the floor he stayed crouched in on himself, as if he were once again a young child. The tears were freely flowing now, the pain of what once was being once again ripped from him again, causing him to cry out in need of the one he had unknowingly pushed away. What had made him leave? What made it so bad to stay with him? What made it that he was so happy with someone besides him? With a jolt of realization the answer came to him. It was work. 

He was always so busy. He never really had time to actually see Harry. He recalled all the canceled dinner plans, all the lonely nights he had Harry go through. The short and brief kisses and the look Harry would give him as if asking if Tom really loved him. That was his next mistake. He never told Harry he loved him. Harry had said it to him so many times, Tom at first had thought that was the teenager in Harry coming out with a need for love. At least that’s what he thought, till the day he came home and found Harry coming down the stairs with his trunk. 

_“Harry, what are you doing?” he asked_

_“I’m leaving Tom.” Well that was curious, Harry never informed him of going out anywhere._

_“Where are you leaving to?”_

_“I’m going to Remus’ until I can get my own place.” His own place? Harry couldn’t possibly mean-_

_“Your own place?”_

_“Yes, Tom. I’m finished I can’t take it anymore.” He said eyes shining with tears. “I never see you anymore. We haven’t shared a meal with each other in three months, it’s been even longer since we had sex.”_

_“So this is all about a lack of sex?” he growled out, the nerve of him._

_“No it’s more than that.” He said furiously. “Tom haven’t you noticed that during our entire relationship, two and a half years I remind you, you never once told me you loved me.”_

_“What foolishness is this?” he asked neutrally._

_“See that’s what I’m talking about.” He said pointing at Tom for emphasis. The pitch of his voice raising slightly. “Every time I even breach the subject of love, you either shut down completely or go on ignoring me as if I hadn’t said anything.”_

_Tom, for the first time in his life, didn’t know what to say. He and Harry continued to stand in the foyer staring at each other, until the silence was eventually broken by a deep sigh._

_“Tom, I can’t go on being with you if I’m not loved in return.” He said, head lowered down so his bangs shielded his eyes. Walking to him swiftly, Tom grabbed him up in a hug, and making it another first began to beg._

_“No, Harry. Please don’t leave me.”_

_“I love you, Tom.” Tom hesitated for a minute, looking into Harry’s pleading eyes. For a moment he couldn’t remember anything, but that moment was apparently to long. Harry stepped out of the embrace and picked his trunk up._

_“Don’t worry, I got all my things” And with that walked out of the door, and out of Tom’s life._

Tom didn’t know when but eventually the tears stopped. Maybe it was possibly for someone to cry themselves tearless.

_And I went through the closet and I found some things in there_  
_Like that pretty negligee that I bought you to wear_  
_And I recall how good you looked each time you had it on_  
_Yeah tonight I'm sittin' alone diggin' up bones_

Tom from his spot on the floor spied something under the bed. Crawling over to the bed he reached under and pulled it out. It was a soft green material, a material that looked frighteningly familiar. Holding it up, he choked on air at what he found. It was a casual robe that Tom had bought Harry, the first gift Tom ever gave him. 

The memory of Harry immediately running into their bathroom to change after opening the package it came in, and then twirling about the living room in it. Harry had looked so beautiful even then, with hair in disarray wearing a robe that one wouldn’t usually wear to social events but at that time, Harry was ethereal. He remembered coming home and seeing Harry wearing it, when he was baking something. The memory was fuzzy but he recalled it having to do with melted chocolate. Mostly because eventually a chocolate war was started with them pelting each other with melted chocolate, which led to them kissing and licking chocolate off each other’s faces, and then leading to even better things right there on the kitchen counter. 

He hugged the material to him, as if it were Harry. He gave a small sniff. Oh God, it still had his scent on it. Tom cried tearlessly into the material, wishing and praying that this was all a horrible nightmare of some kind. That he would wake up and Harry would still be there sleeping next to him in their bed. 

But no it wasn’t a dream, Harry was really gone. 

A clock in the back ground chimed midnight. And now Harry belonged to someone else. He had heard that the wedding was today, it was the whole reason for his trip down memory lane. Today Harry had married one Blaise Zabini, and this very night he knows that they must have made love in a bed that wasn’t theirs. A bed that didn’t have Tom, but another man who surely treated Harry better than he ever did.

He continued to sit there throughout the night digging up the memories of Harry and him. 

_I'm resurrecting memories of love that's dead and gone  
Yeah tonight I'm sittin' alone diggin' up bones_


End file.
